


Baby I think I'm losing you, (I can see it in your face)

by TheSpideyRanger



Series: Don't Leave (Me) [1]
Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: F/F, angst train full speed, im sorry, this is not a happy story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 19:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13620228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpideyRanger/pseuds/TheSpideyRanger
Summary: The first thing she notices is the solemn look on the other Rangers’ faces.The second thing she notices is the glowing pink power coin grasped tightly in an unmoving Billy’s hand.The third thing she notices is the hole in her heart.





	Baby I think I'm losing you, (I can see it in your face)

_ They’ve been Power Rangers, officially, for a little over a year when it happens. _

Trini doesn’t realise that something is seriously wrong until about a week after the attack when she notices that Kimberly hasn’t been to a single training session in the past week and is missing todays’ Saturday detention again. They all tend to miss a detention every now and then to decompress from school and Ranger duties, so it’s not unheard of for Kim, or any of them, not to be there, but she hadn’t let anyone know she wouldn’t be there; in fact, she hasn’t texted or called anyone at all in the past week unless they texted her first and even then, the replies were short. Singular. So, it’s safe to say that Trini is more concerned than she was a few minutes ago. She thought Kim just needed some space to recover and would come to one of them (preferably herself) when she was ready, but she doesn’t really know the protocol of what to do after what happened.

She supposes she can relate, more so than others. After Rita attacked her it took a couple months after they actually defeated her for Trini to feel safe in her own home again, for the physical scars to begin to fade, though she supposes the mental scars will stick with her, why Rita chose to single her out, coming close to her own death. But Kim made it better. She always does. Billy tried talking to Kim soon after it happened, even if he says he doesn’t really remember much of what happened before he died, he, more than anyone, could understand what it feels like to be hopelessly trapped and then dropped to your doom with the prospect of escape impossible.

Trini sighs as they’re dismissed from detention, ignoring Jason and Zack’s questioning glances with a shake of her head as she shoots Billy a small smile and leaves as fast as she can. She bypasses her usual route home and begins the long trek to Kim’s house. There’s no use in avoiding the problem and if there’s one thing she knows about Kim it’s that she won’t actively reach out for help, from anyone.

**

Kim had been stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom for the past twenty minutes, watching as a stranger stared back at her. The stranger looks remarkably like her, except for the slowly fading bruises, drooped shoulders, and tired eyes. Realistically Kim knew it was her, a version of herself she wishes she didn’t know; a version she doesn’t  _ want  _ to know. But here she is, watching as the stranger makes the same arm movements as her, wincing at the same time as they jostle the healing shoulder that was still sore from its dislocation. The biggest giveaway was the same defeated expression, the same look of shame dimming what was once a bright gleam in her eye that came from the pride and happiness of becoming a Ranger and finding her family.

It’s moments like this Kim wonders why she’s even a Power Ranger at all. Obviously, she can’t handle herself in battle and has to have someone save her like some goddamned damsel in distress. She knows she’s the weak link in the group, she knows she’s the one not deserving of being there. When she’d first voiced her concerns it had been Jason, first, who told her that she was worthy of being a Ranger, that the power coin wouldn’t have chosen her if it didn’t think she was deserving, and Zordon had reaffirmed that notion. This was her “destiny.” But even Zordon, and all powerful celestial being could lie. Everyone lies.

Kim would know.

Sighing, Kim starts applying the cream to the more superficial wounds that don’t need to be bandaged before beginning the all painful process of cleaning and dressing her open wounds that, given her heightened physical abilities, should be further along in the healing process than they already are. If Kim were thinking clearly, she’d understand that the slow healing is due to the severe amount of trauma her mind and body went through but, in her current state, she just sees it as another reason as to why she’s not cut out to be a Power Ranger.

Taking one more glance in the mirror, she realises that her outer appearance really is a true expression of how her soul feels: battered. Tears begin to well in her eyes but before she can allow them to fall for what feels like the thousandth time in the past week there’s a knock at her bathroom door. Her parents are at work and the boys would never come around unannounced, not that she’d actually know seeing as her phone has been off this whole time, so that only leaves one person left it could be.

Trini.

“Just a second!” She yells through to her girlfriend, rushing around to clear up the space that was littered with items from her first aid kit and bloody tissues from when she’d accidentally aggravated a particularly deep gash trying to reach for another wound. The irony isn’t lost on her. Quickly wiping her eyes, she looks around her bathroom for the baggy sweater she’s practically been living in only to swear lightly to herself when she remembers she left it in her room.

“Everything okay in there?” Comes Trini’s muted voice awash in worry and Kim curses to herself again when she recognises the tone in Trini’s voice. Worry. 

“Everything’s fine.” Kim responds in what she hopes is a calm tone, but Trini knows better than that. “Could you grab me a sweater from my room, please?” Trini doesn’t even question the request, at least not outwardly, and quickly moves to Kim’s room to grab her a fresh sweater, one she knows Kim hasn’t worn to death. Once she’s back outside the bathroom door she gives it a gentle knock and Kim opens it wide enough for just her hand to reach out and grab the item of clothing.

Once the door finally opens and a sweater clad Kim finally makes an appearance Trini tries not to show her concern too obviously, not wanting Kim to clam up into herself, but she can’t help it. Kim looks even more beat down than when she actually had been beaten down. Her hair is up in a messy bun, her eyes are dull, and her cheeks look sunken.

“Where were you today?” Trini asks, not wanting to delve too deeply right off the bat. Kim will come to her in her own time like she usually does, but the Yellow Ranger feels this is one such occasion where some slight pushing would help because Kim obviously isn’t dealing very well by herself.

Kim looks down, not willing to meet her girlfriend’s eyes. She doesn’t want to talk about it, she doesn’t want to talk about anything.

“I didn’t feel well.” Is her response, even if it’s a weak excuse it’s not far from the truth. Kim really doesn’t feel well. She doesn’t want to leave her house if she doesn’t have to and she wants to see her friends even less.

“Why didn’t you call? Or text? We were all worried about where you were.”

“My phone’s been off.” Kim replies, moving her gaze to a poster on her wall just to the left of Trini’s face. She really doesn’t want to talk about it.

Trini nods her head in response and lets are eyes quickly glance over Kim’s form. Everything up to her neck is covered and Trini can still see the lingering bruises on Kim’s neck. Without even thinking she reaches up to gently brush the marks with her fingers, wanting to do anything to try and take her girlfriend’s pain away, but the Pink Ranger jerks away before any contact can be made.

Trini tries to hide her hurt expression at the action, but she succeeds about as much as Kim does in trying to hide her panic at the thought of being touched.

Trini hadn’t realised it was this bad.

The shorter ranger makes a slower attempt to reach for Kim this time and the Pink Ranger all but collapses into her girlfriend’s arms, heart-breaking sobs wracking her aching body as she finally gives into everything she’s been feeling this past week. Trini feels helpless holding a distraught Kim, not knowing how to make it better she settles for letting Kim let everything out. It’s better than nothing. Moving slowly, the shorter ranger manoeuvres the both of them to Kim’s bed, settling herself against the backboard with the Pink Ranger curled into her side, clinging onto her for dear life. 

It takes about an hour before Kim succumbs to sleep and Trini finally lets the tears she’d been holding in fall. All she wants is for all of Kim’s pain to go away. Better yet would be for what made her like this to never have happened. Closing her eyes, she decides to try and get some sleep as well. 

When Trini wakes she immediately notices the absence of the body that was clinging to her when she fell asleep. Looking around the dark room she spots Kim’s silhouette sitting on her windowsill, looking up at the night sky. Rubbing the grogginess from her eyes she sits up in the bed, letting the covers pool around her waist. She coughs lightly trying to get Kim’s attention, but the other girl doesn’t even flinch.

“Kim?” She calls out, but the Pink Ranger seems to be buried deep into her own thoughts as she doesn’t make a move to signal she heard her girlfriend. Getting out of bed, Trini quietly pads her way over to Kim as to not startle the other girl. “Kim?” She tries again, reaching a hand out to gently rest on her shoulder.

Kim nearly jumps out of her skin at the contact, her hand immediately going to her chest in shock, her heart hammering in her chest from the scare.

“Sorry.” Trini apologises with a guilty look on her face. “I did try calling your name. Twice.” She says in a light tone, hoping to ease the tense atmosphere that filled the room. Kim just nods her head and goes back to staring out the window. Trini sighs and goes to sit on the opposite side of the windowsill. The sky is filled with dark clouds and Trini thinks to herself it might storm.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Kim murmurs, more to herself than to Trini, but the latter hears it anyway and whips her head around to stare at her girlfriend’s side profile. Kim won’t look at her.

“What do you mean?” Trini asks with hesitance, not knowing if she even wants to know the answer.

“I mean I don’t think I can do this anymore. Being a Power Ranger.” Before Trini can interrupt Kim continues. “I’m not cut out for any of this. You guys always have to swoop in and save me. I’m the weak link. A team is only as strong as its weakest member and I’m so tired of being the one who always drags you guys down.”

“That’s not true.” Trini refutes.

“But it is. I’m not good enough for this. I’m not even a good person.” Kim’s voice cracks towards the end and Trini can feel tears welling up in her eyes at the admission. “If I can’t even take care of myself in battle how am I supposed to protect my team? How am I supposed to protect you? You could  _ die,  _ and it would be my fault.” They’re both crying at this point and Trini is dying to reach out and bring Kim into her arms, to tell her that she is good enough, that none of this is her fault. “I nearly died because of my own incompetence.”

“That was  _ not _ your fault, Kim. How could you think that?”

“How could I not?” At this Kim feels herself being swept into the memory, the living nightmare she can’t seem to forget. 

**

It had been exactly a year since the Rangers had defeated Rita and sent her flying into space and they were all at the re-built Krispy Kreme in celebration of that milestone. Angel Grove had been relatively quiet since Rita and the Rangers never really had to deal with anything more than a rogue monster tearing up the streets or human crimes. They’d opted to help rebuild the city and had become local heroes. Something Zack was especially happy about. They were famous.

Most of their time was spent in training and rebuilding the ship to its full capacity. Billy had even been working with Alpha on improvements they could make to the Zords to make their movements more fluid for if they needed them in battle again. Jason had been working closely with Zordon, trying to learn everything he could from the former Red ranger to better his leadership skills and battle strategies. Zack and Kim had worked on the Power Rangers public relations, even going as far as setting up a twitter account. Trini had mostly flitted between everything and introduced the Rangers to Tai Chi and Yoga, so they could all relax as a unit.

Everything was going well; until it wasn’t.

They’d been laughing ang enjoying their anniversary donuts when they heard a loud crash from outside and saw people running past the window, screaming. With one shared glance between all of them they quickly rushed out of the shop to see what was happening. There stood about a 10-foot-tall monster with pitch black skin and glowing green eyes. It almost looked like living tar.

Upon seeing the five the creature shot some kind of black rope out of it’s hands, bolts of electricity running up and down it. The rangers ducked out of the way just in time to miss the attack. Jason was the first to stand and, taking a quick look around to see no people in sight, quickly gathered his team.

“It’s morphin’ time.” He proclaimed and soon enough the five were engulfed in their respective colours as their armours began to mould itself onto their skin. Once they’d all morphed they took on a fighting stance, watching as the monster began to approach them, lightning ropes swinging at its side.

“So, we got a plan?” Zack asked as the monster began to pick up its pace.

“Let’s split into two teams and try to take it from different sides.” He shot a quick glance at the other four and noticed them all nodding in agreement. “Okay, Pink Lemonade, you take one side and we’ll take the other.

“Got it.” Trini and Kim said in unison, laughing slightly despite the predicament they found themselves in.

Splitting up the rangers each took a side of the monster and began fighting. Jason was the first to launch his attack, his sword manifesting itself as he leaped at the monster, only for it to wrap its rope around the sword and send an electrical current though the weapon, causing the Red Ranger to cry out and drop his weapon.

“Jason!” Billy yelled as he moved to Jason’s side. “Are you okay?” Jason merely nods in response and gets up quicker than he went down, and Billy is sure if the visor wasn’t there he would be able to see the fire in Jason’s eyes.

Trini was next to try as she went in low to attack the monster with a well calculated sweep that sent the monster off balance long enough for Kim to jump in and kick its chest, causing the monster to fall down and its electrical rope to retreat back into its arms.

Zack moved in next with his battle axe, bringing it down heavily onto the creatures fallen form multiple times until the monster eventually rolled over to dodge the attack. As the monster began to get up, Billy took this opportunity to use his prototype blaster gun on the monster, however the creature released its electrical rope and began to grow in size and spin like a tornado, hitting all of the Rangers, momentarily incapacitating them, leaving it enough time to retreat and jump up onto a nearby building.

“We might need Zord back up for this one. He’s too much for us to take on just as we are.” Jason said as he watched the monster continue to jump from building to building. “Billy, call Alpha and request the Zords. We need a new plan of action.” As he was working through a plan with the other rangers, Kim took a step back and watched as the monster crashed through a window, coming out seconds later with a child in its grasp.

“Shit.” Kim murmured and before she could think it through she was already scaling the buildings after the monster. Just as she was about to reach the highest building, where the monster had taken purchase with the small child, Jason finished his run-through of their plan.

“Are the Zords on their way?” He asked Billy as the Blue Ranger re-joined the group, nodding in confirmation that Alpha was sending them back-up

“Where’s Kim?” Billy asked as he looked around and noticed the Pink Ranger was nowhere to be seen.

“She’s right…” Trini began as she turned and noticed that her girlfriend was indeed not where she had been moments ago. “…here.” 

Up on the building Kim and the monster were circling each other, the child in its grasp too terrified to move or even make a sound. The creature had reverted back to its original size.

“It’s okay, sweetie, everything’s gonna be fine.” Kim tried to reassure the child, watching as the kid nodded but still looked just as terrified, and who wouldn’t be? Reaching behind her in one swift motion, Kim grasped her bow and arrow and aimed directly at one of the thicker ropes coming from the creature, causing it to loosen its grip on the child just enough for Kim to run forward and remove them from its grasp.

The monster roared, and its eyes began to glow a molten red. The Pink Ranger quickly put herself in front of the child and set up her bow and arrow for another shot.

Back on the ground the Rangers heard the monster’s roar and looked up to see Kim and a child facing off with the monster. Trini was the fist to run and scale the building; it’s the fastest she’s ever moved. The other Rangers were close behind her and in seconds they were by the Pink Rangers side.

“Take the kid.” Kim ordered to no one in particular as she continued to aim her arrow at the approaching monster. Trini took action and swept the child into her arms and carefully scaled down the building and placed the child into a waiting police officer’s arms.

“What’s going on?” The officer asked, and Trini tried to quickly fill him in as the other Rangers continued to face off with the creature.

Zack and billy had already been thrown to one side, both still reeling from the electrical currents that were coursing through them. Jason and Kim were trying to tag team with Kim shooting arrows at the monster and Jason swooping in to slash at the ropes with his sword while it was distracted. It was working for a while until the monster sent out a current that knocked them both down and began to grow in size again.

Once Trini was done she looked off in the distance to see their Zords fast approaching.

“Guys, the Zords are nearly here.” She said through their communications system and began to sprint to her own Zord, keeping an eye on the growing monster on top of the building.

“We need to get to our Zords!” Jason yelled as he picked himself back up. Just as he and the other Rangers began to run to the edge of the building they heard an ear-piercing scream and turned to see Kim being held aloft in the monster’s ropes, shock after shock being sent through her body. The three remaining Rangers were about to turn back when Kim yelled out:

“Get to your Zords!” The three nodded and made and extra effort to get to their Zords as fast as possible, trying their hardest not to turn back and help Kim by hand with every scream she let out.

Trini doesn’t really believe in God anymore, especially after the events of the past year, but with every scream she hears from Kim she silently prays to whatever deity is out there that she’ll be okay and wills her Zord to go faster.

Every time Kim struggles against the ropes around her she feels a stronger shock each time and feels the ropes get bigger and tighter. The monster hasn’t stopped growing and Kim is beginning to lose hope. She feels helpless. She doesn’t even want to know how high off the ground she is right now.

Kim feels herself being swung around at a rate she’s sure will give her whiplash and notices that all the other Rangers are finally in their Zords and are approaching fast. She also notices her Zord flying their way with no sign of slowing down and it’s at this moment she realises that auto-pilot isn’t one for detecting danger.

The monster growls as her Zord shoots at it and she can feel the ropes around her loosening, which would be great if she wasn’t looming over the edge of the building. Fear rips through her as her Zord continues its attack on the monster and swoops down to crash into the creature, sending it, and Kim, flying as she’s finally let go from its grasp, though not without one final electric shock that send crippling pain through her entire body.

Kim is paralysed in terror as she begins to freefall through the air. In all her life she’s never felt such fear and panic, so much so she de-morphs halfway down and as much as she hopes she can get the armour back up to protect her some from the collision with the ground she knows she’s hopeless to her fate. Just before she blacks out right before she hits the ground she only has one thought.

_ I love you, Trin. _

Trini watches in horror as Kim’s Zord takes out the creature, sending it hurtling to the ground, and Kim flying though the air. The Yellow ranger commands her Zord to move faster to where Kim is falling to. But then she sees Kim de-morph and suddenly it’s as if she’s falling faster. Trini can feel tears in her eyes and the boys’ voices through the comms but all she can focus on is Kim and how she’s not going to make it.

She makes it.

**

“Kim...” Trini whispers, gently coaxing her girlfriend out of her nightmare and reaching for her shaky hand. “You acted on instinct to save a child. You managed to singlehandedly hold off that bastard for as long as it took. It could have been any one of us.”

“But it wasn’t.” Kim snapped and finally looked into Trini’s eyes, though her vision was too blurry to see her girlfriend clearly. “It’s always me and I’m tired, Trini. I’m tired.” She finished weakly and removed her hand from the Yellow Ranger’s to wipe at the tears on her face.

“You can’t just give up, Kim. You can get though this.” She tried to encourage though she knew Kim wasn’t having any of it. “You’re the Pink Power Ranger.”

“Well, how can I be a Power Ranger if I can’t even fight monsters, huh? How can I be a Power Ranger if I’m too scared to dive off that stupid cliff to go to training? How can I be a Power Ranger when I can’t even morph anymore?”

“What?”

“You heard me. I tried going to training, the first one after it happened, and the minute I jumped down I nearly drowned in the water because I started to have a panic attack half way down. I can’t do this, Trini. Any of it.” Trini was utterly lost and heartbroken at the revelation. She wished she’d have come sooner.

“What do you mean ‘any of it’?” She asked, hoping the answer she was about to receive wasn’t what she thought it would be. She could already feel the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. Kim looked away and took a dep breath.

“I think you should leave.” She said quietly.

“No, Kim, you can’t just give up on everything!” Trini was near hysterics, she couldn’t believe this was happening right now. It was all a dream. A nightmare, it had to be.

“I can’t morph anymore, I’ve tried, the power coin barely responds to me anymore, I’m useless as a ranger.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to give up on us!” Trini pleaded, she’d get on her knees if she had to.

“Every time…” Kim sniffles as tears begin streaming down her face. Holding in her sobs she continues. “Every time I look at you I see everything I’m not and never will be. It all hurts too much.” She sobs and Trini sobs along with her.

“This doesn’t have to be the end.” The Yellow Ranger practically begs, and Kim nearly gives in, nearly. She settles for holding Trini’s face in her hands and leaning in to place a lingering kiss on her lips. Trini inhales quickly and savours the moment, pulling Kim’s body closer to her own. When the kiss breaks they embrace for a while before Trini whispers.

“I’ll come back tomorrow, and we’ll talk, okay? When we can both think clearly.” Kim nods even though she knows they won’t, but she can’t make this any harder on Trini than it already is.

Trini leaves soon after but not without one last kiss, which felt a lot like a goodbye.

**

The next day Trini decides to give Kim the day to think things over, they both need the time to clear their head. Trini opts for going to The Pit and beating the shit out of some putties.

When Trini walks into the under-ground ship, something feels off and a wave of panic courses though her veins. She quickly runs to the main control room. The first thing she notices is the solemn look on the other Rangers’ faces. Zack moves forward and placing a comforting hand on Trini’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” He says, and it takes Trini a second to process what the hell he could be apologising for.

The second thing she notices is the glowing pink power coin grasped tightly in an unmoving Billy’s hand. Jason steps towards Billy and places and arm around his shoulders. He knows Billy doesn’t bode well with change, especially to this magnitude.

“We tried to stop her, but she wasn’t having it.” Jason said, trying to mask his own tears as he noticed tears running freely down Trini’s cheeks.

“We were supposed to talk…” She trails off.

The third thing she notices is the hole in her heart.


End file.
